Wallaby Part 2

24th September Day 1 0232

After a 3 hour bus ride, which we all slept through, we reached Tiger Hill Camp in the middle of the night. Roughly awoken, we dragged ourselves out into the cold wind of the desert night. First time we experienced the cold of Australia. We dragged our heavy bags up the hill, about 400 meters in pitch darkness, swearing at the treacherous vegetation grasping at our ankles. Finally making it up to the cookhouse, it was a bleak sight. Row after row of tents, lit by naked yellow bulbs. We were briefed on the days to come, and sent to the cookhouse to eat our night snack.

Cookhouse

Almost but not quite, entirely unlike porridge

25th September 0900

Prepared for outfield, packed the 5 tonner trucks with stores and moved out. Our first stop, Single Tank Battle Course, at Mulpha. The Australian landscape is really beautiful. Just miles and miles of browned, knee high grass, scatterings of trees, and framed by majestic mountain ranges.

Packing the Target tonner

Welcome to the desert

TCC rolling in!

Setting up tentage at Mulpha

After everything had been set up, we walked the ground and started preparing for the shoot. We worked slowly, as this was unfamiliar territory, but managed to set up everything by night fall. That night we slept outside the tentage, confident it wouldn't rain in the desert. 

It rained that night. We pulled our sleeping bags around us and ignored it. When it became too heavy to ignore, we went to stand inside the tentage. No one got much sleep that night either. 

Wallaby

I'm back from Exercise Wallaby! Amazing experience, really. After the whole thing, you've learnt so much about the tank, about your own capabilities and about yourself. I feel like I can take anything the army throws at me now. Pretty tired now. I've got 5 day block leave, awesome. I actually managed to keep to my word and maintain a journal of my 23 day adventure. So in the next few posts, I'll transcribe everything onto this blog, complete with photos from my great friend and crewmate Andy Chee!

23rd September Day 0

Went to Changi Airport at 1130 to have lunch with family. Felt strange that I was going to be going alone, duffel bag and all. Met up with TCC at the airport. 

Everyone gathering at the gate, after browsing through the duty free shop 

 We entered only with our travel order and our 11Bs, something different from ordinary travelling. You don't even need your passport, just your 11B. Morale with pretty high, everyone's excited to be on this trip. It felt like going overseas with your friends, not a military exercise. Yet. Boarded the plane, MH8727. Malaysian Airlines, but a chartered flight. Doesn't beat SIA, but it was pretty good compared to what I expected. There was a movie screening, MIB 3 and Prometheus. The food served was ok, not bad for airline food, but no alcohol.

Excited to be on the plane

We touched down in Rockhampton International Airport at around 2345 local time, and collected our bags straight from the plane. As in we literally unloaded our own bags from the plane. That's SAF for you, no baggage claim or anything. We quickly went through customs and boarded a bus from Rockhampton to Shoalwater Bay Training Area.

Tired and hungry. No one was celebrating anymore.

Pre Wallaby Post

Its about 4 more hours till I go to the airport for my Australia bound flight. I'll be gone for the next 3 weeks, down under firing big explosives at inanimate objects. My feeling now is apprehensive but excited. Life there will have its discomforts, but at the end of the day, it should be an amazing experience. Having never gone overseas with the SAF, I have no idea what to expect. But I couldn't have chosen a finer group of people to share this experience with me. 

I'll be documenting the whole thing in a journal. Hopefully, I won't just write two days and leave it there, like I did with all my other journals. I'll transcribe the whole thing on my blog during the block leave after I'm back. You can look forward to that.

All my affairs are set in order. The only thing missing is sending off Gerlynn, which I won't be able to do. Gerlynn, if you're reading this, you've been an amazing friend, and the heart and soul of our little family. 403 would definitely not have been the same without you, and thank you for all the happiness and delicious baked goods you have brought to us. You'll probably cry a bit, but remember that everyone is cheering for you and you'll always have friends eagerly awaiting your return. 

There. Everything has been taken care of. Time to go.

I depart a trainee.

I will return a Tank Commander.

Midnight musings

I wonder what it would be like if I had become an officer.

I had really wanted to be an officer.

I would have gone to OCS with the rest. My dad would be very proud. I would have been very proud.


But I didn't. I went to SCS instead. I went to Lima Coy, and became a Tank Commander.

I wonder if I would have been happier in OCS.

Probably not. I probably would struggle to keep up with everyone else when running in OCS. I would have lived in constant fear and embarrassment of my Pass result. I'd probably compete in shouting and trying to  lead with everyone else.
I saw the new Officer Cadets in the store today, 16 voices, all shouting at each other, nothing much done.

I'd probably be an Infantry Officer at the end of it, which is something to be very proud of I'm sure, but not something I see myself enjoying.

I'm in Tank Commander Wing now, no one bothers me about my running speed. I'm on my way to become Best Knowledge, in a course of 24. I've done an outstanding tour of duty as LPS. I go to lessons smiling with my crew. I go to tank lectures eagerly attentive, despite tankee's few hours of sleep. I devour pages of technical data and armor tactics at night because I want to. I love the Tank Commander life.

I have to be honest though, I never knew about the tankee life before I got posted.

It was a complete accident, an amazing chain of coincidences.

But it got me to what my father always wanted for me, what I should have wanted at the start.

I'm happy now,
because I know I'll have a meaningful and enjoyable journey in National Service.
And when you finally scream ORD LOH, isn't that how you want to feel?

Crew Phase

Food poisoning sucks. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that. The type that doesn't kill you most likely makes you wish you would die. Delirious with fever, sitting at home on a Monday morning, I've decided to update my blog. Because why not.

BMR! Basic Main Range! At once the most fun and most stressful time of my life. I was the Leader Platoon Sergeant, who's basically the guy who runs the shows, analogous to LSM in SCS or CWC in OCS. Anyway, I started off on the wrong foot with the Range Sergeant Major in charge of the preparation, and he looks like the type who murders people. For BMR prep, we had to prep three tanks for live firing. It was 2 hectic days of everyone running around everywhere. Being a tankee, you learn very fast how to manage manpower. With over 17 different things to do, multiplied by 3 tanks, and only 24 people, you have to learn very fast indeed, or run out of hair to tear out. Oddly enough, the prep went very smoothly and I managed to keep track of where everybody was and the progress accomplished.

The next day we woke up around 4.30 for BMR. We loaded up everything remaining and ourselves into the 5 tonner. As LPS, I had the privilege of sitting in front in the cab, hehe. About half an hour into the live firing area to an undisclosed location, we reached BMR. I don't think I've ever said this about any military installation in Singapore, but it was absolutely beautiful. We were situated on a big bare plateau overlooking a huge valley. The valley was at least 2 kilometers wide, offering an amazing view. That far up, there was an almost constant breeze that fought the baking sun. Sitting atop a tank and looking through my binos, it felt heavenly. After the conducting brief, it was my turn to relax for once, as the conducting officer took over most of my job scope. We sat in the air con briefing room awaiting our turn as the steady crash of the main gun and the staccato fire of the coax kept us from falling asleep. Unfortunately, terrible weather kept us from our night shooting, and we packed up early.

After that, was the hard part. We reached back camp around 1am. Everyone was tired, but mentally prepared for what was to come. I was running the show, I had to be at 100%. I also remembered that I had to be at Gerlynn's BBQ the next day, and that was my driving force. Just like the 2 days of prep, but in reverse, and in 4 hours this time. It is difficult to command your peers, even more so when everyone is tired and cranky. I am therefore thankful that most of my coursemates are clubbers who are used to staying up really late. Anyway, we all worked until 5.30am and slept till 8.

I learned a few things about leadership that day.
1. Cooperation is key
2. Don't make them do extra work, do it once do it right.
3. Don't jump in and do work yourself, step back and think about the big picture and timeline.
4. Always be answerable for manpower and progress.

Crew phase next. We've learned all aspects of the tank as parts, time to work it as a whole.

Quarter way to ORD!

Much has happened since the last post. Mostly because I'm too lazy to write posts, what with the little time I have during bookouts. I find myself more prolific during the week itself, and my written journal will probably be more revealing, should I chose to take the time to transcribe it onto this blog.

Anyway, got my driving license! My armoured driving license anyway. Got 85% on the driving test, making me the high score in my crew. But no cigar, cos someone else managed to get 100% haha.  Driving is pretty much about situational awareness, knowing the terrain and how much clearance you have, because its 65 tons, 10 meters long and 4 meters wide, is probably most important so that you don't hit anything. One close call during driving though. I was the acting Vehicle Commander on the tank and my buddy was the driver. We were about a kilometer from the training shed, when my instructor (also on the tank) asked if we ever went through mud puddles at high speeds before. I said no, obviously, since you're supposed to take mud puddles at 1st gear. Oh and when I say mud puddle, its not something you can imagine children splashing around in. Its a huge pool, about waist deep, space for 3 people to lie down in, side by side. Anyway, our instructor made us accelerate to max speed at the closest mud pool, which turned out to be right next to the training shed we were resting in. We closed in at about 60km/h and created a huge wall of mud as the tank sank down instantly. From waist up, I was exposed from the commander's hatch and turned brown instantly. My buddy driving, wasn't so lucky. His periscopes were covered with mud and couldn't see. I realised we were still driving on a straight course toward the training shed. I screamed desperately for him to stop, and he jammed the brake immediately. Right beside us, looking up at us in a pale face of shock, the medic sitting in the OUV, 3 meters to the left and we would have hit him with a 65 ton tank. Another 3 meters forward, vegetation and the bloody reservoir. I don't think our leopard can swim. Close call. Now we take mud pools at 1st gear haha.

Anyway, after driving was gunnery! I love gunnery. I've always been deeply in love with weapon systems, and the weapons systems on the Leopard are absolutely fascinating. The first few weeks was learning all the systems of the tank, which meant a lot of lectures. While many in my course are repulsed by lectures, I actually find them really interesting. They put it down as me being "NUS High" but I'm quite personally passionate. Two other sergeants share my passion, 3SG Ayron and 2SG Sebastian. They can describe every tank and tank development from world war 2 till today. Amazing people, much fun talking to them.

So this Saturday is going to be burnt. Sigh. Everytime SAF burns my weekend, I end up doing something awesome. So I love it and hate it, in a way. The last time they did it, I fired a live grenade launcher and matador rocket launcher. Awesome. This time, I'm firing my tank. Awesomer. Rhienmetall L44 120mm Smoothbore Gun. Commandos may wax lyrical about jumping out of airplanes, but this is my high. Too bad Gerlynn's BBQ is on Saturday too. Despite my above description, I would infinitely rather be at Gerlynn's BBQ. Looks like I'll be losing friends over the next few months. Then come 2014, it will probably be my turn. Ah well. So ist das Leben.

Oh and I'm trying to learn German. Because why not.

And I'm decided what I'm going to name my tank:
Χείρων

Ch ei rh o n. Chiron.
The legendary Centaur of Greek mythology. The swift and powerful body of a horse, the legendary accuracy and speed of the Centaur's bow and arrow, and the grey bearded head of a human, representing wisdom and knowledge. A fitting name for my tank.

2 more weeks to Crew Phase.
4 weeks to STBC, aka Hell Week.
6 weeks to DTBC
7 weeks to Combined Arms Term
9 weeks to Ex Wallaby
13 weeks to after Wallaby
15 weeks to passing out.

Armour's Elite

At least that's what it says on the badge.

Exciting week. Posted to Armour from SCS last week, was to report to Sungei Gedong camp. Met Shun Xiang and Charles there, my good friends from BMT and SCS, and we all lamented on becoming armour infantry. Went to reception to sign against our names. First clue, my name wasn't there. We jokingly brushed it aside and continued on. Getting to the form up point, we notice a lone figure standing off to the side with a piece of paper. He's asking those passing by if their name was on the paper. Most people look curiously and leave. I break off from my group to check it out, and surprisingly, my name was on it. I'm immediately pushed into a lecture theater with a  few other bored people. There's a nominal roll going around. The vocation title is Tank Ldr, second clue. When everyone arrives, the staff sergeant tells us we're going to be Tank Commanders. Strike three. At this point, it seemed like a surreal dream.

So they sent us over to do some psychomotor tests. There were 24 of us there. The tests were actually somewhat challenging, even for all my years of video games. The instructors' faces could be craved from stone, this was clearly serious business. 3 failed, 2 nearly so. Those who failed went back to Armour Infantry with a memory, in exchange for 3 others. With that, we were officially tankees, armour's elite. Joined the Tank Commander Wing.

Our training is gonna be 20 weeks, including an overseas operation and CAT term in SCS. The schedule is super packed. The lessons, actually quite difficult, almost NUS High standard. Our accommodations are pretty nice, working washing machine, a recreation room with TV, 8 people per bunk. The showers are kinda warm too, not hot, but not ice cold either.

Unfortunately, no one else whom I know made it. For the first time, no NUSHS, no BMT, no SCS. I'm completely on my own now. My buddy is a pretty nice guy though. He's a regular, done infantry pro term already lol, he's gonna be a 3SG next friday. He's going through TCC too. He was a pilot drop out, so he's pretty good at everything. Rivals me in technical skill and knowledge haha.

The Leopard tank is still a pretty new thing, not many Leopard tank crews out there, so a lot of the training is  secret, so I can't write too much about it here. Very easy to get confined in TCW. Even just dozing off is confinable, so is failing any tests. Ms Sie's house next week, so must try my very best not to get confined XD Not easy when next week, we're learning to drive the 55 ton behemoth. Bloody hell. Not even a basic theory test here, just get right in and drive the damn thing.

Feeling pretty guilty right now. Everyone's birthdays are coming and going, and I haven't even started present shopping yet. Oh well. Hopefully I'll get some time to go next week.

Block leave is really the best. It lets you completely forget about NS, eat ice cream and watch funny videos on youtube. We should have 2 days of block leave every 8 weeks. I think that's the optimum.

16 weeks. The year is actually passing pretty fast. It seems almost too soon that I'm being whisked away from SCS and into a new alien unit. I was starting to really enjoy my bunk mates this time. Couldn't say the same about Lima company though. In BMT, there are Kestrel, Ninja and Taurus survivors. In SCS, there are Delta and Lima survivors. I'm just glad we were out of there before it got too crazy. I guess when you pass through the week as an unconscious blur, like wake up training sleep rinse and repeat, and look forward to every bookout which passes by waayyyy too fast, the weeks pass by like a flash.

Foundation term. Hmmmmm.... I guess it was pretty good. The sergeants in Tekong were right though, nothing is better than BMT. Seriously, guys in BMT, TREASURE EVERY DAMNED MOMENT. Everywhere else in the SAF can't get better than BMT. I guess the most alien thing about SCS at first was the tempo. It was a ridiculous mess of a tempo. On some days, a slow mournful march of cleaning rifles and playing dota and sleeping at 9pm. On other days, a chaotic symphony of SECTION CHARGE and sleeping in hastily dug shellscrapes at 1am. Another thing about BMT, you always get your 7 hours of sleep. Everywhere else, you can get 6 hours of sleep in 3 days, or 12 hours of sleep in 1 day. Training is hard, but fun. You learn all sorts of cool stuff and actually feel like you have a fighting chance in a war now. Can't post much about this in here, but needless to say, Modern Warfare 3 is going to get a lot easier.

Armor Training Institute. My new home for the next 6 months. Hope its nice. Lima company was bloody far from the cookhouse. But the cookhouse had a canteen and gift shop on top, so we could have a canteen break anytime we wanted. The food at the cookhouse was crap though, so we got sambal fried rice and cheese fries every chance we got. People say Armor infantry is pretty tough, but I guess I'm quite ok with that. I usually don't volunteer for tough things, but when the tough thing comes my way, I usually surprise myself by getting though it quite well. I guess I think too much. That's what a trainer told me once. "All you JC kids are the same, you think about how many more rounds, or how much more difficult than my last time. Sometimes, all you need is to do is stop thinking and focus on the task at hand." Some part of me wishes I stayed in Infantry though, go back to Tekong to take care of the recruits.

Block leave! Not much I'm afraid, other than NEW VEGAS. All the way. Finally got the last 2 DLCs, Lonesome Road and Old World Blues. Really saved myself the best for last. Old World Blues > Lonesome Road > Honest Hearts > Dead Money.

Dead Money was, ehh. The Villa seriously creeped me out with the Ghost People and the environment itself, being on par with Amnesia and Bioshock. But inside the Sierra Madre Casino, things were bleh. The cloud actually discouraged exploration, contrary to a Fallout game. Only redeeming things were the gold bars in the safe and the HOLORIFLE+, the most game breaking weapon ever.

Honest Hearts was ok. The map was beautiful. The Grand Canyon was rendered beautifully and the park was wonderful to walk and explore. The story was alright, rather black and white unfortunately, but furthering Nevada's story a lot more. But a moral dilemma whether to stand your ground and fight, losing your innocence, or flee your home but keep your morals. I fought, obviously. More exp in there XD Crap weapons though. Oh oh. Really touching story of Randall Clark, I really felt for him when he finally died, even though I only knew him from holotapes.

Lonesome Road. The map, as suggested by the title, is quite linear, but quite refreshing. Ruined buildings, like really ruined, on its side and tilting, all fully explorable, very satisfying break from the flat emptiness of the Mojave. The weapons are huge and unwieldy, but bloody fun to use. Ulysses as an antagonist was, interesting. His speech pattern was a bit annoying at first but grew on me later. Really useful stuff in here, lots of money too. Made a 100,000 caps on weapons alone. This DLC promised an origin story for The Courier, but we didn't really see that at all. Ulysses just said "Oh you used to live here." and that's it. "Who are you, who does not know your history?" Et tu Courier? Oh and you get radio reception here, full playlist of Mojave Music. YES.

Old World Blues. Really the best. I remember exploring the Vaults of Fallout, all of them were ruthless experiments on living people. Stepping cautiously into the vault, discovering its secrets, and the nature of its experiments. Take that multiplied by 50 and that's Old World Blues. The characters are likeable, and memorable. The plot actually surprised me at the end, many games don't do that anymore. Weapons and armor are awesome, and really well designed. Has its own soundtrack! 5 new tracks of really good jazz.
Not much to do after all the DLC. I think I'll try a new playthough, this time, a Caesar's Legion stealth assassin, melee weapons and unarmed only. Playthough number 5 haha. Maybe some Rollercoaster Tycoon after that.

Booking in tomorrow at 0745. Hopefully I'll bookout on Friday. Hopefully.

Last few days of BMT

Oops. Looks like I haven't been updating for a while. But a fair point is neither has anyone else. A lot has happened since hand grenades, almost an eternity. The main thing was field camp. They say that 50% of your memories from BMT comes from field camp.

Field camp.

In a phrase, you have exhausted all the pain, hardship and drama of BMT. Before it, the commanders all were hyping it up, saying that discipline would be higher, comforts would be scarce and it would test you to the roots of your being. I thought they were blowing it up. I couldn't have been more wrong. 6 days and 5 nights felt like an eternity.

Day 1:

At the beginning, we had an 8 kilometer route march to the field camp site. Our field packs were much heavier than usual, as everything we would be using for the next 6 days was strapped to our backs. I remember the weather, direct sunlight with a thin mist hanging in the air, encouraged by the moist rainforest crowding the road. It was the perfect weather to sweat buckets. And sweat we did, all 8km to the field camp site. The first ugly reminder of field camp. Our campsite was a dusty red hillside, a reddish brown patch of dirt offering no relief. Soaked with sweat, we dejectedly sat down on our basha site, eyes staring out of focus. Field camp hadn't even started yet. The commanders wasted no time. Within the first half hour, we had set up our basha to their standards, established a perimeter, and changed to Standard Battle Order for the next mission. The rest of the day was a blur, learning field craft from commanders in silence, high kneeling on the hard dirt. Meals were combat rations, a sealed pack of solid wobbly yellow pasta and chicken bits. The texture was off, but it tasted good. Night in field camp was no joke. It was dark. Very very dark. Our flashlights were "tacticalized"meaning only a small hole of light was permitted. It was worse than nothing, and most of us depended on natural night vision to grope our way in the darkness. Exhaustion started to set in. Sticky, smelly and tired, we stumbled back to the basha. No showers, no lights, not even clean ground to change on. Laying on the thin groundsheet, all discomfort was quickly forgotten when sleep finally arrived.

Day 2:

Morning came, and light from the sun gave us hope once again. Body aching from the hard ground, we had a full day of lessons. Day 2 was one of the best days, just sitting in the forest, learning to actually fight an enemy, performing 3 man tactical movement between the trees. The day came and went, we felt like we could get used to field camp after all. Night came, and we slept well. Then, turn out happened. Ear ringing explosions right above and beside us, the noise of gunfire near the perimeters of our camp. It was 4am. The noise of the thunderflashes, the blinding light of flares, and the bull voice of commanders shouting at us. My sectionmates stumbled around in the pitch dark, some in various states of undress, one boot on, helmet but no shirt, etc. We struck our bashas and packed them, leaving nothing behind. In about 20 minutes from the first explosion, we were assembled in Full Battle Order as a company. Luckily, there were no injuries, except for some missing equipment in the darkness.

Day 3:

Shellscrape day. A shellscrape is a hole about 3 meters by 1 meter by half a meter. Dug down into the solid ground. To accomplish this, you're given a short stick, about arm's length, and a metal blade, like a hoe. Our platoon was unlucky, we were given virgin soil around the palm trees area. You couldn't swing your hoe without hitting a root. You needed 3 swings to cut the roots first, then another swing to move the soil. Repeat about 400 times. We took about 3 hours to dig it. All the while in helmet, vest and rifle, which swings around at random times to unceremoniously hit you in the face. I was one of the first to finish digging, maybe I got saddled with an easy spot, or picked up farming from Tung in hostel. I was rewarded with a smoke grenade for my effort. No joke. That day the letter came. The letter from your parents. I cried for the first time in years. Everyone did. No matter how strong you think you are, mentally or physically, you would have cried too. It reminded me why I was out here, in this grim, inhospitable place, sweating, aching and exhausted. For my family. For my friends. For the people that supported me. I had a purpose now, and I was going to fulfill it. The night has become universally known as "The Worst Night Of My Life" A shellscrape is not a shelter. In fact, it is a negative shelter. That night it rained harder than I have ever seen it rain on Tekong. We started out lying down in the shellscrape, but we eventually ended up sitting on the sides of it. The rain churned the soil into soft, sticky mud. The water completely filled the hole, soaking my boots and pants. It was cold. So cold. The rain soaked us completely, clothes, equipment and all. Sleep never came. All I could do was sit there, sinking slowly into the mud, soaked and shivering, freezing in the cold. As I watched each minute melt into the night on my watch, only the letter kept me going.

Day 4:

Everyone emerged from the night as zombies. No one had slept. Everything was soaked. Morale was the lowest ever. That day we practiced more field craft, and finally moved out of the campsite to the new SITEST campsite. We set up our bashas on the nice, firm grass of the campsite and slept very very happy soldiers that night.

Day 5:

SITEST day. More captains and lieutenants than I've seen in BMTC. One for every 11 recruits in fact. We would have to perform and lead in front of them. We were scrambled from our section. Everyone in our teams were randomly picked from other platoons from the company. So not only did we have to lead, we had to lead complete strangers. Luckily everyone was really cooperative and we did quite well as a section. That night was another sleepless night. It rained again, as hard as the first night. On the flat field, the campsite quickly flooded. My section was particularly unlucky, we were on a depression of the field, and our groundsheet was soon submerged. At least we weren't soaked.

Day 6:

SITEST day two. After the first day, our section surmounted the obstacles even better. Morale was at its highest, even after the rain, because we were going back today. Back to civilization.

Field camp taught me a few things. 1: Showers are awesome. 2: A soft bed is awesome 3: I have gained a newfound respect for rain and how badly it can screw you up. 4: You are a lot tougher than you think you are.

You should take away number 4.

One thousand Two thousand

Hand grenades this week.

Extremely hectic week, mostly because of the A level results on Friday. On one hand, an early bookout and three day weekend. One the other hand, squeezing the most dangerous BMT high key event into 3 and a half days. We had very little sleep and admin time this week, compared to the endless hours of slacking we had in the bunk during Range week. I barely had anytime to wash my clothes, to the chargin of my poor mother.

Hand grenades. They are very simple machines. If I were to put you in a fight with a bear, the first thing you'd probably do is to find something to throw at it. Then you'd die, because, come on , its a bear. Hand grenades are very simple in that respect. Pull the pin and throw. How does something this simple deserve such a hectic week? Explosives.

When I went through grenade week, I gained a newfound respect for explosives. They're completely different from what you see in movies. Forget the spectacular flash, the pluming fireball of red and black belching out of the ground. An actual explosion is acutely uninteresting. The hush first settles over the range. The nervous recruit fumbles with the pin before separating it. The Officer raises his hand before bringing it down with a firm pat on the recruit's shoulder. The recruit chucks the grenade, with technique and target all but ignored. Everyone ducks. One thousand Two thousand. The grenade lands with a plop on the sand. Hard to spot from a distance of 200m. Suddenly, a puff of sand and smoke appears. It just appears. One moment its not, and another moment, its there. No fire, no other visual indicator. A crashing sound assaults your ears, imagine a metal dumpster falling from the third floor. The range recovers, the next bay is ready. This happened 250 times.

In retrospect, the BMT grenade course does not actually teach you how to kill others with a grenade. Of course there is a target for you to aim at, and a set distance that you're supposed to throw. But for a recruit standing at the bay, it all goes out of mind. The only thought in his head is getting the deadly high explosive as far away as possible and surviving this ordeal. The BMT Grenade Course teaches you more of how to not kill yourself with a grenade than to kill others. Almost like rifle range, you're being trained to inflict death. All the drills practiced with a rifle deal with how to hit a target, and how to rectify it if you're not hitting the target. A different mindset is present too. There is no lingering thought on your own safety when aiming down the scope. All presence of mind is focused on hitting the target. However, for grenades, all the drills are to ensure that you don't kill yourself with the grenade. The target and throwing distance is looked at as an ideal than anything else. Something to aim for, but don't bother trying to hit it. As you run down to the grenade range, all faces are grim. The sergeant's voice is nervous, and their actions are all to the letter. With the earplugs in your ears, only the sound of your breathing is audible in your head. Receiving the grenade, I couldn't imagine it exploding at all. It seemed an inert lump of metal. Strapping the grenade to my chest, I sat down at the waiting area. In a fit of gallows humor, I observed that death itself was strapped to my heart. All it took was a faulty pin, a fuse slightly out of alignment. For some reason, I thought of seeing everyone on bookout day, and that made me smile some. The loudspeaker rotates shifts. I doubled the 200 meters to the grenade bay. As I performed all the drills before throwing it, my mind was somewhere else, I watched myself in third person, reporting to the officer, preparing the grenade. The officer and I exchanged some small talk while waiting for my turn to throw, interrupted by him jerking me down behind cover as others threw first. I ran my hand down the outside surface of the bay. Solid concrete, pockmarked by thousands of tiny holes. I suddenly understood the nervous smile of the bay safety officer. He had to do this 250 times. Damn. My turn to throw. Pulling the pin out, all intent of hitting the target left me. My own breathing echoed in my earpluged ears. It was just me and the grenade. Instinct took over. I threw it as hard as I could and dropped to the floor. One thousand Two thousand. A strange force pushed air out of my lungs. Sound came after that. A crashing bang. The strange sound of tiny metal hitting concrete, and the whizzing of metal through the air. And it was over. I hastily thanked the officer and stumbled out of the bay.

That was grenade week.

Nothing new to report

Week 3: Shooting!

This week was fairly uneventful as it was our range week. The interesting thing is that you're not even taught how to shoot. Aim, hold breath and squeeze trigger. I guess its a testament to the SAR21 that most people passed on the first try. That or our gun savvy, First Person Shooter video game culture ingrained into most youths.

I'm typing this 10 minutes before book in, so pardon me if it seems rushed. The range was in the middle of tekong, far away from the lights of BMTC proper. The stars out there were magnificent. The forest blocked most of the light from the city, so there were an unimaginable amount of stars. It was almost like being in rural Thailand. The shooting was a two parter, the day shoot and night shoot. The day shoot went by quite fast, and you actually spend most of the time sitting around, waiting for the next detail to finish shooting. Thanks to my previous experience with the SAR21, I managed a perfect score in the day shoot and was one of the small number in the running for Company Best Shot. While waiting for the night shoot, we literally sat around for 3 hours, talking swapping stories and the like. Then the ninja van came. The ninja van is known as the ninja van to recruits and commanders alike, as it randomly shows up silently, bearing all kinds of forbidden unhealthy drinks and snacks to anyone with the coin to afford it. Luckily, our friendly sergeant advised us the day before and we spent an extremely happy hour gorging ourselves, totally ignoring our out-ration dinner :D

The night shoot was pretty good, and quite scary. It was dark. Not even a dark you can imagine in Singapore. Darkkkk dark. Darker than a wolf's mouth in winter. The range only had light sticks and dim red lights to guide us, and floating blue light sticks marked the commanders walking around. By the time the night was over, I missed two shots, taking me out of the running for Company Best Shot, but guaranteeing me a Marksman Award very handily. It was about 0000 Hours before the 5 tonners took us back to company line, and the admin and Routine Orders meant we slept around 0300 Hours. We woke up again at 0530 Hours on Saturday to get ready to book out. That night, you could tell who would die in the sleeplessness of field camp.

Purple light, In the valley

That is where, I want to be

Infantry, true companions

With my rifle and my buddy and me.

Wow, 17 days. It has literally felt like forever.

I remember day one, in the bunk, Ulysses Company, Platoon 4 Section 3. 16 strangers brought together from all corners of Singapore. It was a humid day, and the rotating fans overhead did little to move the sluggish air around us. No one particularly felt like talking. We sat in silence around two rectangular wooden tables put together . The importance of teamwork and buddies was hammered into us from ferry and possibly before up till now. As we all looked around the table, taking in the wary faces and blank looks, brotherhood and unity looked very far away. Several stabs of standard conversation were offered: name, school, cca, etc... But I was left to wonder how we would become an inseparable family in the weeks to come.

17 days later. Book out day. Friday. We all had pet names for each other, knew each other's temperaments, strengths and weaknesses, we had added each other on facebook and swapped phone numbers. We idly swapped stories about how siong the PT was, and how hard SOC is, and how strict the sergeants are as we crammed our laundry into our field packs, excitedly talking about the first thing we'd do when we got out. Some even said they would miss each other's company. Laughing, I pointed out that we would unfortunately be reunited very soon. We were a family, brothers in arms.

17 days. An eternity.

BMT has many interesting things. The days feel like they go by quite fast. Wake up at 5am, First Parade, Physical training, and before you know it, lunch. Soldiering lessons, lectures, learning to handle your rifle, and before you know it, dinner. Routine Orders then admin time. Do laundry, call home, and sleep. Rinse and repeat. I guess it feels fast because your day is broken up into timings given by your sergeant. Time now is 1230. 1-2-3-0 We chorus. I want you to eat lunch, and fall in by 1250. 1-2-5-0 We chorus again. Our lives are literally being dictated to us, and we hang on the commanders' every word. It becomes a habit to constantly check your watch, lest you have to drop 20 when you get there.

Some people can't take it. The regimentation, the sergeants barking orders at you. But I'm finding myself adjusting quite well. Could be the Uniform Group training before this, or the fact that I'm already quite familiar with the Army and how it works on the inside. When you understand why they order you around and give the punishment they do, it seems quite reasonable. Anyway, I'm actually finding it quite enjoyable. Bed's soft, food's good, toilets are clean and we get paid.

TRANSITION

Currently 10 hours before the next chapter of life begins. Never before has entering a new phase of life been so scary. You may even argue that this is the first phase change. Going from primary school to NUS High may have been daunting, but it was still school. You still had the obligatory June/December holidays to look forward to. But now, its a whole new game.

Not much to say I guess. Strangely. You'd think I would be teeming with philosophical nonsense about life and fate on such a subject, but my mind is pretty calm. I guess whatever happens from here will just happen. Human beings are great adapters, and I'm pretty mentally prepared.

Purpose.

Long time since I've had any. And I'm glad to have it back.

Anyway, I'll see all of you again when my sergeant decides its safe to return. I do hope I miss Valentine's Day, otherwise I'd have to make excuses on why I didn't do anything hilariously, retardedly misguided this year. :D

Happy February to you all.

Milestone

We celebrated Ronald's Birthday yesterday. Nineteen. That's much too big a number. For some reason, I expected being 18 to last for much longer. You should be 18 for 3 years. Then you're 21. What a more elegant system.

I hope to keep this blog running for the next few years, amid all the life changes I'll be experiencing. Someone once told me that the years from 18 to 21 is the focal point of your life, and any mistakes in the future can all be traced back to this period.

I'm not going to make a long Hong Kong post, if any of you are looking for one. Such an experience can't be expressed in one post. The freedom of parents on an overseas trip is a completely different experience, but the gravity of it struck me standing at Changi Airport. Being the first to arrive, as usual, I stood with my luggage on the center of the concourse, looking up at the board of flights. As the faceless mass of humanity streamed past me like a water flowing around a rock, I honestly had never felt so alone. Luckily, Jing Min arrived 15 minutes later, restoring my mood. But the damage was done. If I do go to US for my studies, a 2 way ticket costs a bomb. I'd not see many of my family and friends for 2 years, let alone 15 minutes. The rest of the Hong Kong trip was amazing, and waking up with the same few friends 7 days in a row tends to bond or break a group, and I'm glad to say it was the former. Many good stories and jokes were had, all immortalized in Debra's and Jing Min's photos on Facebook. Including some rather controversial ones I've heard.

National Service is coming up soon. More excited than dreading it. Really beats bumming around the house everyday, if I'm not driving or exercising. Having my Dad in the military, I've never actually questioned the importance or relevance of NS. Honestly the only reason I have against it is that it defers our tertiary education. Ah NS. The only things I'm worried about right now is running, my mortal enemy, and fitting in with the rest of the unit. I really do want to become an officer. If anything else, to make my father proud. He says he'll wear his Number one to the commissioning ceremony if I actually do make it, provided he can still fit in it haha. So literally the only things stopping me is my crappy 2.4 timing (a blistering 12 minutes, thank you very much) and my ability to connect with my sectionmates. I hope they're all at least nice people. Any Aaron Tans would just scupper my plans entirely. Although, the thought of just slacking off and being the section joker is quite seductive. Singing "Always look on the bright side" in Cockney accent during a route march, or "Singing in the rain" on a rainy field camp would be awesome.

Well, Chinese New Year is coming up, and I'll have a lot of visiting to do, as well as UPenn interview on the 28th. Hopefully I'll enjoy the last few months of being 18 :D And I'll leave you with this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlBiLNN1NhQ

Long overdue post

The more perceptive of you may know, I was recently rejected from Columbia Engineering.

The letter was extremely comforting, telling me that I was a "talented young mind" and I had "many more world class opportunities" to look forward to. But rejection was rejection, that much was certain. My emotions at that time are easy enough to remember: fear, sadness, anger and finally disappointment. Disappointment. That was something I hadn't felt in a while. Disappointment. It was a testament to how sheltered my life was that disappointment blindsided me like a truck in a blizzard.

After much thought and consideration (Also known as "emoing"), I realised that I, myself had not fundamentally changed, and I would have been the same person on the other side of the letter. Its funny how life is like that. If I hadn't gone into NUS High, I probably would have gone on to another school like ASCI or SJI etc. I would be going on a grad trip with Thomas, Bob and Sasha while gathering with my class at William's place. I could walk down the street past Gerlynn, Stuart, Dylan or everyone else whom I love now with not a glimmer of recognition in my eye. Such a thought scares me. But it scared sense into me.

Columbia wasn't a university or a degree to me. It was a gateway. A gateway to new and better things. A gateway to prestige, acceptance, everything everybody secretly craves but will never admit. Studying with interesting people, access to mindblowing opportunities and living in New York City. That was the dream. To be denied entry is like having your future taken away from you. To have someone say "No, you can't do that anymore." completely arbitrarily. I'm extremely content with my life now, and it doesn't take a multimillion dollar salary to keep this lifestyle. My spending is frugal, I don't indulge in DSLRs or expensive audio equipment or lust over sports cars. Going to the US and roughing the cultural and social change there is actually taking the hard route. So why am I doing it?

As usual, I've written myself into a corner again, ending with a largely rhetorical question. But there's a a sense of "This is the road I've chosen". The Plan makes a cameo here, for those familiar, and general consensus is basically "Money is hard, Motivations are cheap." Which means make your money now, and worry about the meaning of life later. To be expected, hailing from the fertilizer bed of pragmatism Singapore is.

Back to the topic at hand, Columbia can be drawn as a parallel to NUS High. Whether my life will be better getting in or not getting in, I will never know. There may be a man named Chris whom I would have started a billion dollar company with as my roommate at Columbia, or a girl whom I would have married. I will never know them. Like Abed said, by applying to six different schools, I'm creating six different timelines. I guess the lesson from this incoherent post is that take life as it comes. Cliched I know, but there's little you can do about it. No one is intrinsically better than someone else, we all play the cards we're given.

Now what?

Today's little treatise is on why I have nothing to do for the next 2 months.

Starting a business in Singapore is no easy task. Especially for people of our age and means. We can't engage in any mass physical movement of merchandise, for example moving computers or other consumer goods. This takes up time that I do not have, and since I can't drive yet, I have no way of even transporting them. Also, sourcing for supply and finding a distribution channel would be a nightmare as you don't have that much capital, and not much time to sink into it. Unless you want to invest in a supplier, advertising, years of your life and a storefront now, you'll avoid this.

This limits our distribution channels to the internet. Even though you've heard much about the internet and about teenagers running international businesses from their laptops, it isn't the easiest thing to do. First, you'll have to set up a website and design it to make it look professional. I'm quite sure most of us can spot an amateur website from a professional one and decide not to trust it with our credit card details. Therefore, professional designing is needed and it isn't cheap. Or you could use sites like eBay. Creating whatever you're selling also requires time and money, and distribution through air mail isn't cheap or easy either. Besides the point, building things requires craftsmanship and tools and a place to build it, not something we all have.

This again limits our business to the easiest thing available, offering services over the internet. I have known people now who run services over the internet, and discussions of business plans invariably come back to this archetype. Whether it be services for tuition, repair, event planning or etc, the chief disadvantage of this archetype is that it is easy. Anything you can think of has already been done by others whom you'll have to compete with, and if you do find something novel, chances are someone will notice it and copy it. Constricting your market to just Singapore could be a smart move for specialization and convenience of the service, but lets face it, Singapore is a tiny market. Making money will be an uphill process involving years of brand creation. And years is what we do not have.

With all this in mind, there are a few solutions.

1. International market, high value stock, infrequent transactions.

An example would be a client asking you to build him a custom computer according to these specs. You'll source for the parts, put it together and air mail him the result. 3 figure profit, perhaps 5 times a month, and a site advertising your service and a middleman site like eBay could be used.

2. Local market, low value stock, bulk transactions.

Get a group of friends together, and spend time every week designing and making cheap items. These things could be like small gifts or cute items or arts and crafts. Can also range to high end crafts if you have the skills and tools. Advertise and distribute on the internet. By keeping supply cost low, and retail price high, you could pocket a reasonable profit. Beware of sweatshop conditions trying to fulfill demand though :D

3. Local market, high value services.

Offer a service that you have, such as photography or repair or event planning or troubleshooting skills. In other words, be a consultant. The only problem is that people won't take an 18 year old seriously, so portfolios are a must. Contacts in the field will make your job easier by introducing clients. Advertising would be mainly word of mouth and recommendations from other clients. Consider interning for someone already established in the field.

My analysis and solutions aren't perfect, but this is what I've thought of while eating dinner. With now till December loaded with Uni Apps and the HK trip and NS next year, I don't think I'll utilize any of these methods. But those who have the time or means, feel free to try and experiment and feedback. I'll like to see what happens.

Good week

Its been a lonnnng week.

Felt like a seven day week this week, with SDYC and all that. Going through SDYC, I didn't learn about saving the environment and all that crap. Instead I learnt something more valuable about myself.

I find it very hard to focus on a task or keep commitments that has nothing interesting for me.

SDYC was a shining example. When I signed up, I expected to have an awesome dynamic team of friends who I could have fun with while executing everything. Instead, I didn't really know my team all that well, and till today I till don't know some of their names. Granted, it was probably my fault for missing all those planning sessions and the pre convention camp. Although I had good reasons for doing so i.e New York and all that. But I'll be lying to myself if I said I wasn't the problem. If 403 or my close friends were directly involved, I wouldn't miss a session and I'd probably perform 120%. Instead, I woke up at 10am on a Saturday, and took me until 4pm to realise I forgot the SDYC GM today and no one called me.

So on SDYC itself, I busied myself with the unspoken important tasks, like making sure the food was here, constructing solar panels etc. On day three, I eschewed my duties, or lack thereof, to slack with KT, Danielle and Belinda by note passing. Later on the D&D, I hung out with the people not even in SDYC more than the people who were, going all the way to skipping out on the cleaning up later to hang out with more awesome people.

So from here, I realised that I don't mind very boring or unimportant jobs, as long as I do it with cool people that I like.

Speaking of D&D. It was pretty cool. Wingmaning KT for the first time that night. SOTA girls are super weird lol. And KT didn't seem to want to talk that much to the girl, stage fright? Ah well, suited up, danced a lot, and drank soft drinks to a crappy DJ. SDYC ftw. I'm just glad Dance CCA, Belinda, Jing Min and Bernard came. Otherwise that would have been a crappy D&D.

Anyway, I just read through all my posts on this blog to get a feel of myself, to write college app essays later. College app essays. Sigh. The biggest hurdle currently. I'm a pretty good writer. But when it comes to selling myself, I'm pretty stumped. I'm not introspective at all, and as I read through my blog, its mostly about observations in everyday life, dissected and reduced to bareness for analysis. Thus, I have to observe myself observing in order to come up with something interesting for the College councilors. I've been asking people around me to highlight my most obvious traits, but I need to find some sort of context to frame them in. Bottom line, college app essays are hard. I need a muse.

On the lighter side of things, I baked today! Went to Gerlynn's house after sports day with JM, Bern, Ming Yan and Gerlynn. We helped to bake the cupcakes that will be given out on Teacher's day celebrations tmr! Gerlynn supervised as JM and I helped to make the batter, put it in cups and put it into the oven. Bern and Ming Yan slept like pigs on the sofa XD We watched a really weird and M18 movie that Gerlynn bought o.O but starring Natalie Portman and Zooey Deschanel. Also helped with the icing on the top of the cupcakes :D

Don't eat breakfast tmr! :D

Best ideas come in the shower.

Like the title suggests, I got this idea in the shower; it concerns overseas university education and NS.

Here's the problem. When you turn 18, a fresh faced graduate from a prestigious high school. Intelligent and vivacious, you manage to score a place at an awesome US university like the Ivy Leagues, Engineering colleges like MIT or brand name business schools like Tepper. But wait! Since the school is so prestigious and awesome, you spot a statement on their website that sinks your dreams. "NO DEFERMENT IS ALLOWED"

Shattered. You'll have to compete for a place in 2 years and retake all the entrance exams you already got a good score in. You'll probably do worse, because NS will burn out your brain, you'll forget all your AP physics, math, chem, bio and what have you, and you won't have awesome college councillors to help you along the way.

All because of NS. D:

So here's a solution,

Defer NS for people studying in overseas colleges. Simple.

But before you cry foul, or shout elitism, listen to my arguments why its a win-win for both SAF and intelligent students.

Here's the plan:

If you are guaranteed a place in the 2012 intake of a overseas university that does not grant deferment, you are allowed to defer your NS until the end of your undergraduate studies, upon which, you return to Singapore to complete the rest of your NS, 2 years, no different from those who did not defer. Before going overseas however, you attend BMT for 3 months from January to March, after all the application stuff is settled. Since 2012 intake will start in August or Sept, that leaves plenty of time to prepare.

First, I'm not suggesting SAFOS, their overseas scholarship pays for overseas education and defers NS for those lucky enough to get it. Instead, I'm asking that those already guaranteed a place in a prestigious overseas university *that does not allow deferment under any circumstances* to be allowed to defer, scholarship or no. If the university allows you to defer, you should go for regular NS anyway.

You may say, "Doesn't that leave our NS force very short staffed?" But the number of people going to overseas universities is a tiny fraction of the entire year's population of NS recruits. Those going to local universities, or not going for tertiary education at all should attend regular NS. Thus, the majority of NS men serve out the normal time, and after 4 years, those returning after undergrad will join the NS men ranks as well,

You may cry "Doesn't that give those who defer an advantage?" No, those who opt for this has to serve two years of NS after their studies, and thus can't take a job, negating any advantage.

How does the SAF win? For one, they will have a batch of highly educated, highly experienced 22 year olds to serve NS. This will allow them to post them to more demanding posts, requiring more intelligence and thus giving more benefit to SAF who would otherwise have to fill these posts with the limited numbers of regulars. Examples would be aircraft technicians, officier posts, and IT experts. They'll also save themselves a lot of discontent over NS, and demands that the system be reduced or changed.

How does the students win? They get to continue their education seamlessly from high school to university without a 2 year brain melting break. They get to fulfill their highest potential, going to the best universities around the world, instead of having to settle for another one because of deferment. Their applications will not be tarnished by the fact of the 2 year deferment and have a higher chance of getting in. Singapore also wins by having a larger international academic presence and having highly trained scholars having to come back to Singapore instead of being headhunted overseas, thus having a more highly trained workforce.

This is not the final solution, and can definitely be improved to address the loopholes and include graduate studies too. Singapore has come to the point that having a more intelligent army is better than having a numerous army, the latter being a point inevitably being surpassed by other countries. NS should not fossilize, but instead, evolve to keep up with the times. Rigid bureaucracy will kill us all.

Guess who's back.

Wow. Long time.

I guess it would be a lie to say I've had nothing to write about in my blog. I guess the fact was that I'm lazy. Or that no one else was updating their blogs or those who do just locked them. Whats the point of a locked blog? Seriously. Locked blogs came out years ago, in paper form. Its like putting tape on your mouth and holding up a sign that says "I HAVE A SECRET".

I'm ranting again.

Well. Its been some time since APs. And SATs, and all the fun after-APs stuff. So first things first, yay! I got pretty good marks for everything and can safely say I won't ever have to take them again. After APs activities were pretty fun too!

I will be going through everything I did from APs to now.

Universal Studios with 403! Most fun I've had in a long long while. My extreme phobia of roller coasters really did get to me that day. I have no idea why people think roller coasters are fun. The human body was not meant to be accelerated and hung upside down, and my body was certainly protesting the very thought of going up in one. In the end, peer pressure won the day. Everyone in 403 were extremely thoughtful and encouraging, helping me stumble the deserted line to the Battlestar Galactica. In the end, I took the Human roller coaster, but was too freaked out to do the Cyclon side. One day, I swear. XD Besides all that, USS is a great place, and sentosa was really gone upmarket since the old days. It feels like Orlando or Cali now, you literally feel like you've left Singapore.

Rachel and Bernard's Birthday! An awesome time was had by everyone. Felt like a family gathering more than anything. We had a BBQ, had lots of wine, guitar playing in the cool night under the stars. I distinctly remember wishing it could last forever. 403 is awesome.

NEW YORK. GREATEST CITY ON EARTH. Check my Fb for photos. I really want to study there :D Columbia University, Morning Heights, New York City, New York, USA.

Also popped over to Washington DC. My dad knew the place like a pro, having been there quite a few times, he took us to the places US diplomats entertained other countries' diplomats. Amazing food over there. Also, strangely enough, no traffic lights. Seriously. Check it out.

Back to more recent times, 605 BBQ!

Juin Bin's house is pretty cool. There's like pools everywhere :D Good for throwing people into. Ronald got a caterer to provide awesome awesome food. Lamb chops, salmon, otah, all that good stuff. Broke out the good stuff, raspberry vodka (Y) Strong, with a strange aftertaste. People says it tastes like cough syrup. But having never drank much cough syrup, it tasted perfectly fine to me. Brought Ming Yan's shot glass from New Zealand, thanks a lot MY! :D Had about 6 shots. Usually, the shot glass was filled, and after passing it around the group, only half came back, so I finished it. :D

NINJA! Thanks to PhillyD and JM's quick thinking, we played a new game, NINJA! Awesomely fun game haha. When played down to two people, really looks like an actual martial arts fight XD Played a card dare game and eventually ended up with everyone in the pool, soaking wet. Tried playing Ninja in the pool, but it degraded to splashing around and grabbing each other into the pool, and soaking everyone else. We went to the main pool and held hands and swam in a circle singing National Day songs, waking up the rest of the condo. Probably got Stomped by some auntie with too much time and an internet connection. The security guard came down and got us out, trouble with the po-po D: He was amazingly good at catching us running around everywhere XD Very hardworking. In the end, we played a few more games, changed in a storeroom adjacent to the room. Oh btw, some people are easily fooled by sneaky knocking, heh heh. Not gonna say who. We went up to JB's house, and met his dog, who was pretty loud. Ended up only drinking 1/4 of the bottle of vodka. Unsurprisingly, I drank the most. But went home with a nice buzz. Best 605 outing ever.

Listening to Fallout New Vegas Soundtrack now. I love 1930's Jazz. So smooth and soulful. I wish I could sing like that. Fallout makes the best soundtracks, cos you have to listen to the same 20 songs for about 12 hours of gameplay time.

Fast forward to today.

It was, unexpected, to say the least. And the least shall be said. Bad decisions were made. Just hope I don't bump into the aussies tmr. That would be awkward.

College Apps taking up most of my time now. Admin crap is soul sucking. No idea how the college councillors take it. Now I'm stuck between whether I should Early Decision Columbia Engineering or Northwestern Engineering. Or UIUC. Bleh. Shan't talk about it.

So that's it. I'll try to post more frequently, to get the ball rolling again.

Finishing line.

Wow I haven't posted in a while. Then again, neither have a lot of people. Must be the AP prep and everything.

Nah, who the hell am I kidding. I've had many a night of free time just watching mythbusters from end to end :D Ah, I love mythbusters so much. If I could have my dream job, it would probably be a mythbuster XD Explosives, engineering, and working next to Kari Byron.

Lol, I finally found the add image option on blogspot. Can't wait for this week to be over. It hit me just now that if you started studying the week before the mock exams, you've been studying for 3 straight weeks. Mugging for 3 weeks on end. No wonder I feel so sian of everything. I'll completely come loose at the end of it. In fact, I'll probably ride the battlestar galactica roller coaster just to blow off steam. Despite my fatal fear of roller coasters. Can't stand them really.

This would all be a lot easier if I had something to watch while studying. Unfortunately, my Blackadder CDs have gone kaput. I'll have to "amazon" it later D: Oh and in response to Jing Min, don't watch all of Dr Who yet, watch all of Blackadder first :D Its an excellent introduction to British humor and stars Hugh Laurie (super young :O) and Rowan Atkinson :D

A lot of things I own are super old. For some unknown reason. The very chair I'm sitting on, is 19 years old, first bought when my parents moved in. Older than me in fact. Cabinet too, bought a few days after I was born. My guitar, acoustic, passed down from my dad, is 31 years old. The same guitar that once played by my dad in the old Raffles Institution when he was 16, and probably had serenaded my mother too as well. My books are all variably old, some still in good condition, some with yellowed pages. Ancient relics of a simpler time I guess.

Oh in reply to the post Dylan made on his blog on greed and such, I think that not everyone knows what they want to do in life. It is a rare person that has all of life mapped out, year to year, day to day. Life in general is an unpredictable adventure (An overused metaphor, sorry) but there are general guidelines to life, just like you don't go hiking without shoes, you should not attempt to live life without money. TL:DR, although you don't know what you want to do in life, you should have the money in order to have the luxury to decide. As for me, if money was no object, I'll probably be a mythbuster or an English teacher :D Teaching english is kinda awesome. Being paid to show cool videos and discuss interesting topics, is like being paid to do what I do everyday anyway.

I'm just ranting at this point, for those who haven't noticed. Plans for the future. Talking to Jing Min today got me thinking. Is it worth it to go overseas for undergraduate degree? Its always been the plan. The Plan, to go overseas, get degree, come back, cushy job. But learning more and more about life tells me it won't be that easy. Sure, a good job for our qualifications is no struggle. But everyone is like, when I'm rich, when I have money... etc. Well, will it be that easy to be rich? Watching videos of smart young people starting world changing things like Blizzard, Id software and facebook gets you going, "Oh, I'll just do what they did." But you never see the 1000 start up companies that failed beside them. This kinda makes you think, "How to earn money?" Is a brand name undergrad degree really the first step? I'm not even sure anymore, my faith in the Plan, has really been shaken. Should I do research and engineering, my calling? Should I drop everything I know and learn finance and banking now for the money? Should I just put everything on the line and stake out to create my own start up? I get the feeling that I'm asking all the right questions. But for some reason I'm not getting any answers. I know I want the money first though, because someone once said: "money is hard, but motivations are cheap." Although I'm afraid going through the process of getting the money, I'll change into someone I'm not. Someone different from the person typing right now.

Ah well. The future is far away. Time to watch some Ricky Gervais to keep the bad thoughts at bay :D