Midnight musings

I wonder what it would be like if I had become an officer.

I had really wanted to be an officer.

I would have gone to OCS with the rest. My dad would be very proud. I would have been very proud.


But I didn't. I went to SCS instead. I went to Lima Coy, and became a Tank Commander.

I wonder if I would have been happier in OCS.

Probably not. I probably would struggle to keep up with everyone else when running in OCS. I would have lived in constant fear and embarrassment of my Pass result. I'd probably compete in shouting and trying to  lead with everyone else.
I saw the new Officer Cadets in the store today, 16 voices, all shouting at each other, nothing much done.

I'd probably be an Infantry Officer at the end of it, which is something to be very proud of I'm sure, but not something I see myself enjoying.

I'm in Tank Commander Wing now, no one bothers me about my running speed. I'm on my way to become Best Knowledge, in a course of 24. I've done an outstanding tour of duty as LPS. I go to lessons smiling with my crew. I go to tank lectures eagerly attentive, despite tankee's few hours of sleep. I devour pages of technical data and armor tactics at night because I want to. I love the Tank Commander life.

I have to be honest though, I never knew about the tankee life before I got posted.

It was a complete accident, an amazing chain of coincidences.

But it got me to what my father always wanted for me, what I should have wanted at the start.

I'm happy now,
because I know I'll have a meaningful and enjoyable journey in National Service.
And when you finally scream ORD LOH, isn't that how you want to feel?