I wonder what it would be like if I had become an officer.
I had really wanted to be an officer.
I would have gone to OCS with the rest. My dad would be very proud. I would have been very proud.
But I didn't. I went to SCS instead. I went to Lima Coy, and became a Tank Commander.
I wonder if I would have been happier in OCS.
Probably not. I probably would struggle to keep up with everyone else when running in OCS. I would have lived in constant fear and embarrassment of my Pass result. I'd probably compete in shouting and trying to lead with everyone else.
I saw the new Officer Cadets in the store today, 16 voices, all shouting at each other, nothing much done.
I'd probably be an Infantry Officer at the end of it, which is something to be very proud of I'm sure, but not something I see myself enjoying.
I'm in Tank Commander Wing now, no one bothers me about my running speed. I'm on my way to become Best Knowledge, in a course of 24. I've done an outstanding tour of duty as LPS. I go to lessons smiling with my crew. I go to tank lectures eagerly attentive, despite tankee's few hours of sleep. I devour pages of technical data and armor tactics at night because I want to. I love the Tank Commander life.
I have to be honest though, I never knew about the tankee life before I got posted.
It was a complete accident, an amazing chain of coincidences.
But it got me to what my father always wanted for me, what I should have wanted at the start.
I'm happy now,
because I know I'll have a meaningful and enjoyable journey in National Service.
And when you finally scream ORD LOH, isn't that how you want to feel?
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Crew Phase
Food poisoning sucks. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that. The type that doesn't kill you most likely makes you wish you would die. Delirious with fever, sitting at home on a Monday morning, I've decided to update my blog. Because why not.
BMR! Basic Main Range! At once the most fun and most stressful time of my life. I was the Leader Platoon Sergeant, who's basically the guy who runs the shows, analogous to LSM in SCS or CWC in OCS. Anyway, I started off on the wrong foot with the Range Sergeant Major in charge of the preparation, and he looks like the type who murders people. For BMR prep, we had to prep three tanks for live firing. It was 2 hectic days of everyone running around everywhere. Being a tankee, you learn very fast how to manage manpower. With over 17 different things to do, multiplied by 3 tanks, and only 24 people, you have to learn very fast indeed, or run out of hair to tear out. Oddly enough, the prep went very smoothly and I managed to keep track of where everybody was and the progress accomplished.
The next day we woke up around 4.30 for BMR. We loaded up everything remaining and ourselves into the 5 tonner. As LPS, I had the privilege of sitting in front in the cab, hehe. About half an hour into the live firing area to an undisclosed location, we reached BMR. I don't think I've ever said this about any military installation in Singapore, but it was absolutely beautiful. We were situated on a big bare plateau overlooking a huge valley. The valley was at least 2 kilometers wide, offering an amazing view. That far up, there was an almost constant breeze that fought the baking sun. Sitting atop a tank and looking through my binos, it felt heavenly. After the conducting brief, it was my turn to relax for once, as the conducting officer took over most of my job scope. We sat in the air con briefing room awaiting our turn as the steady crash of the main gun and the staccato fire of the coax kept us from falling asleep. Unfortunately, terrible weather kept us from our night shooting, and we packed up early.
After that, was the hard part. We reached back camp around 1am. Everyone was tired, but mentally prepared for what was to come. I was running the show, I had to be at 100%. I also remembered that I had to be at Gerlynn's BBQ the next day, and that was my driving force. Just like the 2 days of prep, but in reverse, and in 4 hours this time. It is difficult to command your peers, even more so when everyone is tired and cranky. I am therefore thankful that most of my coursemates are clubbers who are used to staying up really late. Anyway, we all worked until 5.30am and slept till 8.
I learned a few things about leadership that day.
1. Cooperation is key
2. Don't make them do extra work, do it once do it right.
3. Don't jump in and do work yourself, step back and think about the big picture and timeline.
4. Always be answerable for manpower and progress.
Crew phase next. We've learned all aspects of the tank as parts, time to work it as a whole.
BMR! Basic Main Range! At once the most fun and most stressful time of my life. I was the Leader Platoon Sergeant, who's basically the guy who runs the shows, analogous to LSM in SCS or CWC in OCS. Anyway, I started off on the wrong foot with the Range Sergeant Major in charge of the preparation, and he looks like the type who murders people. For BMR prep, we had to prep three tanks for live firing. It was 2 hectic days of everyone running around everywhere. Being a tankee, you learn very fast how to manage manpower. With over 17 different things to do, multiplied by 3 tanks, and only 24 people, you have to learn very fast indeed, or run out of hair to tear out. Oddly enough, the prep went very smoothly and I managed to keep track of where everybody was and the progress accomplished.
The next day we woke up around 4.30 for BMR. We loaded up everything remaining and ourselves into the 5 tonner. As LPS, I had the privilege of sitting in front in the cab, hehe. About half an hour into the live firing area to an undisclosed location, we reached BMR. I don't think I've ever said this about any military installation in Singapore, but it was absolutely beautiful. We were situated on a big bare plateau overlooking a huge valley. The valley was at least 2 kilometers wide, offering an amazing view. That far up, there was an almost constant breeze that fought the baking sun. Sitting atop a tank and looking through my binos, it felt heavenly. After the conducting brief, it was my turn to relax for once, as the conducting officer took over most of my job scope. We sat in the air con briefing room awaiting our turn as the steady crash of the main gun and the staccato fire of the coax kept us from falling asleep. Unfortunately, terrible weather kept us from our night shooting, and we packed up early.
After that, was the hard part. We reached back camp around 1am. Everyone was tired, but mentally prepared for what was to come. I was running the show, I had to be at 100%. I also remembered that I had to be at Gerlynn's BBQ the next day, and that was my driving force. Just like the 2 days of prep, but in reverse, and in 4 hours this time. It is difficult to command your peers, even more so when everyone is tired and cranky. I am therefore thankful that most of my coursemates are clubbers who are used to staying up really late. Anyway, we all worked until 5.30am and slept till 8.
I learned a few things about leadership that day.
1. Cooperation is key
2. Don't make them do extra work, do it once do it right.
3. Don't jump in and do work yourself, step back and think about the big picture and timeline.
4. Always be answerable for manpower and progress.
Crew phase next. We've learned all aspects of the tank as parts, time to work it as a whole.
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